July 9, 2010
Wearing my jogging pants and a gray t-shirt, I slipped on my black and gray Nikes and stepped outside. I had my iPod wrapped up in my pocket with the ear buds laced up through my shirt and appearing at my neck line so the cord wouldn’t bounce around too much as I ran. Putting a bud in each ear, I pushed PLAY and sucked in a deep breath. As I picked up my feet and began my jog, “I Will Follow You Into The Dark” by Death Cab For Cutie began playing in rhythm with the pit-pat-pit-pat sounds from my feet hitting the pavement.
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark…
My feet were hitting the pavement in same steady rhythm: pit-pat-pit-pat. My breath was coming in even gasps while I focused on the lyrics of the song rather than the ligaments in my knees aching in protest at my urging to move faster and loosen up already. Lightning brightened the night sky, reflecting off the low-hanging clouds over the trees.
… The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs
If there’s no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I’ll follow you into the dark
Then I’ll follow you into the dark.
I felt the first drop of rain hit my cheek. Another on my nose. Then my arm. Next, my neck. I began to blink quickly, attempting to keep the rain from piercing my eyes. Then, “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol began to play, steadying my pace while the pitter-patter of rain picks up, mingling with the pit-pat-pit-pat of my feet falling on pavement.
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?...
A car drives by, its headlights illuminating the penny-sized raindrops splashing onto the pavement, revealing the little splattering explosions of rain water as they hit the ground.
… I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?...
More flashing in the sky—the lightning welcoming the booming thunderheads as they roll in from the North. I keep my pace steady as the lightning continues to periodically illuminate my surroundings in the darkness between the streetlamps with a dull bluish-gray hue. The thunder was nearly drowning out the sounds of the song, but I kept listening as I ran.
… All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
With the lightning flashing all around me and the thunder following shortly after each bolt, rain speckling my face and falling in my eyes now, sprinkling my shoulders, I urge myself on with “Dolphins Cry” by Live beginning to play.
The way you're bathed in light
Reminds me of that night
God laid me down into your rose garden of trust
And I was swept away
With nothin' left to say
Some helpless fool
Yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
You're all I need to find
So when the time is right
Come to me sweetly, come to me
Come to me
Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us…
The rain is soaking through my shirt now. I can feel my clothes sticking to my skin as I continue to run. I turn to face the mountains just in time to see a bolt of lightning strike the deepest part of the valley, illuminating the two majestic peaks, crackling as if it were splitting the mountain range in two.
… Oh yeah, we meet again
It's like we never left
Time in between was just a dream
Did we leave this place?
This crazy fog surrounds me
You wrap your legs around me
All I can do to try and breathe…
… Come to me
A man with his pet dog hurries by me, moving quickly in the opposite direction. I nod hello and he does the same to me as “First Time” by Lifehouse starts to play.
We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide…
I put my head down and keep running, hoping the rain will stay out of my eyes so I can see the ground beneath my feet.
… Looking at you,
Holding my breath,
For once in my life
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
Letting you inside.
I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time
We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home…
In the shadows between the streetlights, I find myself. Running—I feel so alive—lungs bursting while I think of you, knowing that you are thinking of me too, at this very moment, under the same stormy, night sky. Knowing what we both know brings me hope. Knowing that we both feel the same way brings me peace.
