I am closing this chapter of my life.
I want to send a genuine Thank You to all of you because whether or not you "sided" with me, I care about the roles you've all played in my life as friends and family alike, and I wish you all the very best.
Casey, if you ever find this, I will always miss you and all the great things we had together. That's what I want to remember about us—the good times, because it wasn’t all bad. I'll always love you—after all, there are many different ways you can love someone. I wish the best for you in your life, because you deserve it. I knew I couldn’t give you what you needed and wanted anymore, so I really appreciate you letting me go and accepting that. I’m sorry we couldn’t find a way to make things work. I just couldn’t give up my friends and family for you anymore. The six years we spent together is the ending of something that has been beautiful and yet bitter-sweet. I don’t regret a moment of it though. I don’t believe you need to regret things in life as long as you learned from the experience, and I definitely learned a lot from being with you.
You know, I heard somewhere that the only things you can take into the hereafter are your character, your personality, and the knowledge you gain in this life. I disagree, because I don’t think those are the only things you can take with you. I believe you also get to take the relationships you form with your friends and family into the next life.
I don't know if anyone will ever quite understand how I can hold so much love in my heart for my friends and family—whether they are someone I’ve known my entire life, someone I’ve just met, or someone I’ve never even seen face to face—but I love them all for what they've done for me. Several of them have saved my life, literally. I owe it to those people who have helped me to get to where I am today to make my life mean something and to be the best possible version of myself that I can be.
I’ve been saved so many times over its like Heaven’s been working over-time sending friends to my rescue over the years. I wouldn’t be alive today without these people. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to repay that kindness and selflessness that has been shown to me by so many amazing, wonderful people. I'd rather make this journey through life with them still in it than to walk alone, clinging to ghosts of forgotten friendships that once kept me from completely losing myself in darkness, hoping that their memory is enough to keep me from falling into that endless black from which there is no return.
I believe we are all put in each other’s lives for specific reasons, big or small, and you can’t put a price on that. There is nothing more valuable to me than friends and family because if you have nothing else in life, you have those relationships, and they’re the people who will risk their lives for you without a second thought for themselves, and they will pull you right out of Hell’s grasp if that’s what it takes to save you. If you are lucky enough to have friends like that, don’t ever be stupid or careless enough to let them go or take them for granted.
It took me a little too long to realize that, but at least that's what I'm taking with me into this new chapter of my life.
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