Benefit Of The Doubt

I was going to post this on Facebook, but then I thought, hey... why not resurrect my blog?  I haven't blogged in years.  I should do this more often.  I have a lot in life to be thankful for, and lots that I'd like to share with the world.

Tonight I was reminded to give people the benefit of the doubt more often.  Patience.  Understanding.  Forgiveness.  The world would be a much better place if we all just took a minute to check that temptation to hastily judge someone and make sweeping assumptions of the person's character based on one or two brief encounters.

I realized that when, for example, I think of another driver on the road as a stupid, idiotic, inconsiderate a-hole, I'm just filling my mind with negative thoughts.  My hasty judgment of the person based on a few seconds of observing their current driving methods means absolutely nothing, and is almost assuredly wrong about who the person really is.  Besides that, what does my assumption get me?  It doesn't exact revenge on the other driver.

What kind of fulfillment can I possibly get from getting angry about and event or occurrence that could be completely out of the other person's control?

What if that person was driving fast because they were late to a job interview after being unemployed for 8 months and is desperate to get the job so he can feed his family?

What if there has been an accident and the person cut you off to get to the off-ramp because they have just found out that their child has been seriously hurt and needs to be taken to the hospital?

What if the person just had a really bad day and just didn't notice you cruising along beside them in their blind spot?

What if the a-hole move was really something that I did unknowingly, and the person is simply responding with returned aggressive driving?

The list could go on.  I know when I've had something serious happen, I almost can't help myself but break the speed limit, fly past a few cars that aren't going fast enough, even lane-sweep to get off the freeway.  A few years ago, I bent a few traffic laws when I found out that my husband at the time was leaving his two children, ages 9 and 6, completely alone at my house with no phone and no way to contact either one of us.  In a panic, I left work and drove home as fast as I could to make sure the children were safe.  In that situation, I wouldn't want someone condemning me for my driving, cussing me out, assuming I'm just a jerk who doesn't care about anyone but myself.

Back to the topic at hand.  What happened tonight didn't have anything to do with traffic or crazy drivers.  It's just something that most people can relate to.

I've renewed my faith in the positive influence it can be in life to just give the benefit of the doubt a little more often.  It's like taking a few bricks out of this invisible backpack I carry around with me through life.  It feels great to lighten that load a little, and not be carrying around these heavy grudges and negative feelings toward people I don't even know.

So, my thanks goes out to the flooring guy who taught me this valuable life lesson without even realizing it.